It’s Not That I’m Not Compassionate…

I hear it coming from miles around. It’s the sound that no father wants to hear. No man in his right mind would ask for this type of torture. I know you may be perfect, but I am far from it. Folks, it’s not that I am not compassionate. I truly care about my children. I would go to the ends of the earth for them. I would want for their lives to be filled with joy. But to hear that sound, it sends chills down my spine. I know, you probably are wondering what “that sound” is. Perhaps you don’t even have to ask, because you are a Godly Dad. It’s the shrill cry of drama. Yes, drama. “She hit me!” or “I fell down!” or…well, the list could go on and on. It’s not that I’m not compassionate, because I am. I, however, have found that I lock up and freeze when the drama ensues. I just don’t want to deal with it. Is it just me or when I hear that scream, I go into that spot in my brain that wants to pull my hair out? Again, I digress. I often wonder if God feels that way. Of course He doesn’t, but being the dad that I am, I have to wonder these things. All three of my girls have heard me tell them “quit with the drama!” I know it is in their blood, it is in their DNA, it is in their bones, but seriously?! God has to be showing us as parents what we look like to Him when we go to Him.

Drama Isn’t Always What It Appears

I found myself there just a few days ago and I caught myself before I even got started. I was done with class that night and needed to get gas. I decided to check on my handy dandy new phone this awesome thing called an app and bam! I found out that our account was in the hole. I had been diligent in balancing our books and making sure that it was all correct. But there it was, -20.10. It’s a weird number. And no, I don’t mind airing my laundry on-line. Why? Because it wasn’t my fault. No, really, it wasn’t my fault…this time. Of course, I knew that the app had been messed up for a bit so I decided to wait until I got home. It was so tempting to go into full on drama mode. However, I decided to check once I got home and by the time I got home I didn’t think there would be any use because I would be wide awake thinking about it all night long. In the morning, I checked it online and it was the same. I recognized an issue, though. The bank’s computer was charging me double for every transaction. It’s a wonders that it was only that much in the red!

Anyhow, I knew that a phone call would fix the situation. Lo and behold, the representative at the bank had said that they were aware of the issue and were fixing a lot of accounts. Where does this go in with drama? I could have easily flown off the handle, casting every word known to God and man at people, worrying about what was going on, and taken it out on that lady who had absolutely no control over the situation. I want you to catch that last part for those who call in and scream at the representative on the other end. She did not go into my account and say “well, I will just jack them up so they can’t get anything they need…” No. The computer made an error. It taught me a valuable lesson…keep cash at all times!

Whatever You Want to Think

The real lesson is this; drama only gets you so far and then you have a breakdown. While I writing this, I was working on our check book and I could have gotten upset. I have done it a lot over the last 8 years that we have been doing this. Instead, I purposed to follow Philippians 4

“For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them].”Philippians 4:8 AMP

In other words, we have control over what we think. I just stepped on my own toes here so you can own it too. You and I have the opportunity to either let the situation control us…or we can control it. I was listening to a recent podcast about becoming a millionaire. I can’t quote exactly because of the language that came out but in essence, the person speaking was talking about how we live in a woe is me world when in fact when we are broke or when we can’t make it, it’s not so and so’s fault…it’s your fault! I have to agree to a point. It is yours and my responsibility to put the right thinking in our own minds. I am not talking about weird, name it and claim it, yada yada. I am talking about taking control on what you’re thinking about. Think upon the things that are … … … If we can’t do it, then why are we instructed to do it?

I Don’t Want To Hear No Drama

To put it in perspective, Maleah was walking down the hall the other day and heard one of my other girls crying about running into the wall. “I don’t want to hear drama!” Sara about hit the floor. I wonder if that is what crosses God’s radar sometimes. What would happen if we decided to turn drama into faith. Our children would certainly grow closer to God if they see you drawing nearer to God… no matter the situation. God wants to hear your drama…but He does not want you staying there.

Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.” 1 Peter 5:7 AMP

God wants you to bring your cares right to the altar and drop it. Some translations of this scripture says “drop it and let it go.” I want to encourage you men, take the check book and drop it at the altar. I want you to drop your marriage… right at the altar. Whatever it is…at the altar.

I will hold you accountable…you can hold me too. Drop it…and let it go.

Recommended Reading: How Successful People Think – John Maxwell

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Posted by on September 29, 2014 in Uncategorized


The Problem with Change

The problem with change is that it is constant. Change is not something that stops happening in life. As a matter of fact, change will make sure that it will happen at the most inopportune time in the most unreasonable way. You get a flat tire on the way to work as you’re running late. You lose your job right as a baby is being born into the household. You get a promotion in a season where you are ready to move on. The list could go on and on. I love the old adage “the only thing that is for certain is death and taxes.” I think we could add in that; change. There are many people that have embraced change and there are a few that have denied change, but there’s no stopping it. Change is for certain. Change will happen. We either will embrace it or we will run away from it.

In Ecclesiastes, Solomon wrote in Chapter 3 that “for everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build. A time to cry and a time to laugh…” etc. Solomon recognized that in everything there is a season, there is a moment, there is a purpose, and there is a plan. There is always a time for something to be born and a time for something to die. Change is always in the air. Change is certain to happen. How do we combat change? Embrace it.

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Posted by on September 22, 2014 in Uncategorized


Change is a Messy Thing

Change is such a messy thing. In life, it causes the very strong to question their position in life. It will make the very weak confirm what they have feared. It will make the most ornery to become complacent. Well, that last part may have been a stretch. But the fact of the matter is that change is a messy thing. I have to be honest with you; I had to really pray before I approached the change that I wanted to make to Godly Daddy. I know that our mission from day one has been to engage our fathers into conversation and let them know that they are not alone. That mission is still a fact and will never change. However, I found myself looking at what was being written and wondered, are we meeting the core mission of what Godly Daddy was founded on? Am I reflecting what my day to day life with my children is? Frankly, I had to make a decision. Step down and close this site because I couldn’t meet that obligation or continue to write and change the format.

Well, quitting is not an option. As a Howell, I have instilled in my kids that Howells are not quitters. Yes, life is hard and things don’t go the way we plan. But we are not quitters. I can remember a time where Olivia was trying to learn how to get dressed. She struggled getting that shirt on. “It’s hard!” she would scream in resignation. Sara and I worked with her to make sure she knew that she had to learn how to put her clothes on. You ought to have seen the responses from family members. “Oh, she’s just a baby. “ or “You are too hard on her.” Seriously? Putting on clothes is being too hard on a child? Honestly, when you have three munchkins running on your feet, you need all the help you can get especially from them. I remember one of the times where she finally got it. “I did it!” she screamed with excitement. Yes, it is hard. Life is hard. But it doesn’t give you or me the right to give up.

Change is such a messy thing. It’s bound to happen even with the best of us. That change, the change that I know that we need to make as a blog is that we need to be adaptable to that change. The content that we, as bloggers, provide to you will be relevant to your everyday life. The books that we review will be relevant to your parenting, relationships, leadership, and so much more. The stories we share will be ones that will make you laugh at us, cry with us, or make you mad at us. Get ready. Change is messy…but change is good.



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Posted by on September 15, 2014 in Uncategorized


Where Were You?

It baffles me that it has been 13 years since the towers fell on September 11, 2001. Many will use this time to reflect on that day of sorrow and disaster; rightfully so. I want to challenge you today to take it a step further. Instead of the sorrow and disaster; where were you on that date? Were you in the middle of a crisis or in the middle of a divorce? Were you in pain or were you just coming out of addiction? Did you accept the free salvation of Jesus Christ or were you a heathen? The list could go on, but I want to challenge you; where were you on that date and how far have you come since then? Where will you be in 13 years?

Zig Ziglar put it best in this quote; “If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time.”

Set some goals today as you remember those who lost their lives on September 11th. Don’t let that day go in vain. Instead, use it as an opportunity to set yourself up for success. Use it as an opportunity to honor those lives that were lost.

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Posted by on September 11, 2014 in Uncategorized


A Short Note to Our Readers

Dear Godly Daddy Readers,

It is hard to believe that The Godly Daddy blog has been here for over two years and a vast majority of you have been with us. From the very beginning, the heart of The Godly Daddy blog is to create a community of fathers that can come together and be a sounding board to one another. The vision has never changed and the heart has never been swayed…until now.

Over the next few months, there will be a few changes and I am looking forward to having them revealed to you. As it gets closer to time, there will be postings on Facebook and on our site to let you know about those changes. Get ready! It’s going to be a ride!



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Posted by on September 5, 2014 in Uncategorized


The Unlikley

Filmed at Grace Church Ministries Chester IL.

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Posted by on August 26, 2014 in Uncategorized


#1 What is a Man Exactly?

In a society where men are chalked up to nothing less than a donor to make children, this is an important article and it ranked #1 overall in our poll (not just in the quarter).

I know you’ve heard of this saying before. “He is a Man’s Man”, generally referring to a more than macho version of any of us. But what really makes up a “Man’s Man”? Do they have to be as tough as the Brawny Man? His main task in life is geared around housework, so he’s out. What about these WWF wrestlers? They’re full of testosterone and steroids, but they also wear tights and shiny red boots, so they’re out. Oh I know, bikers. Harley riding, leather wearing, hardcore bikers. But even as tough as they are is this what a Man’s man is measured by?

I bring this up because these days there are all sorts of men out there. I can just look within my own circle of friends and find vast differences in each individual person. For instance, I have friends that are as strong as an ox, and then there’s me. I have friends who are daredevil firefighters, and then I have some who analyze reports all day. I have friends who work on massive electric generators that can power a small city, and then I have friends who can move millions of dollars with the stroke of their pen. We are all different but at the end of the day we are all still men. So this begs to ask the question, is there a Man’s man in existence today?

One of my friends owns a successful landscape company. He works all hours of the day in the Memphis 100 degree heat. He is toiling the ground, uprooting trees, and doing everything by the sweat of his brow. Look at me. I am in an air conditioned office surrounded by bottled water, an LED TV, and am wearing a suit and tie. Am I less of a man than my friend because my line of work is not as rugged as his, or his line of work is not as comfortable as mine? Absolutely not!

According to the Childress Dictionary a “Man” is defined as one who lives to serve God, accepts his responsibilities, takes care of his family even if it means sacrificing his own needs before theirs, being a spiritual leader for their family, loving their wives unconditionally, setting an example to his children on how a husband and wife should treat each other, never giving up, and probably the most important next to being a spiritual leader, spending quality time with your children and spouse. These are essential qualifications for being a man and it has nothing to do with your job or whether if your hands have calluses or paper cuts, it’s how you live your life that defines you.
So I ask the question again, What makes up a Man’s Man? You do.

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Posted by on August 5, 2014 in Uncategorized


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