When a Godly Dad Wants to Give Up

William Howell
Godly Daddy Contributor

Ever feel like giving up? These little ones that are in your life, look up to you to provide for their needs and the pour out the never empty ATM for them can drain a man. You carry the weight of the finances, the care of your children, the love for your wife, and so much more. To call the Godly Daddy a slouch would be an insult and the offender should be…well, never mind. The point being, there are times when a Godly Dad is done. He’s cooked. He’s ready to be served for dinner. There are times where the Godly Dad just can’t handle the pressure any longer.

There are days when a dad just has enough. He wants to take off his “dad hat” and put on his “I don’t want to be responsible for one more thing” hat. Sure, you’re perfect so I will just write to myself on here. I have moments, like some of you honest men, where I wonder what it would be like to be a heathen and just give up this walk. I would never do it because I know I love my God so much and what He has done for me is priceless. But there are moments where you start to think; “Gee….I wonder what it would be like to…” and you can fill in the blank.

But what I have had to do is to be perfectly honest with myself and with God. It was at this point when I realized that if I didn’t get honest, I would completely lose my head to the thoughts that run a muck. I want to challenge you, Dads, to get someone to talk to. A man who will listen. I don’t want you to be alone in this fight. It can be safe to say that our culture has labeled the man a wimp if has any sort of weakness, yet we don’t have a way to support them when they are having a rough time or when they are ready to give up.  I want to encourage you to find that person today. Get it off your chest and out in the open.

Now, how does this relate to the Scripture?

Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success.” Proverbs 15:22 NLT

Get the advisers that are going to be entrusted to help you get through the rough patch, help others get through that patch, and just to be a fellowship of men who can help one another be the Godly Daddy that you are made to be!


Silence Satan

Will Howell
Godly Daddy Contributor

From time to time, I love to review the books that I read that I want to share with you. It is rare that I get to know the author in a one-on-one friendship, but this is one time that I can say that.

Kyle Winkler is a dynamic speaker who is dedicated to share the love of Christ to a world who is in need of His love more and more everyday. He recently released the book Silence Satan. Kyle talks about the different strategies to silence the attacks of the enemy. Speaking about his own life’s experience, he recalls of a time when he was battling with thoughts of worthlessness and identity crisis. God, through His word, led Kyle to the road of peace in showing him ways to Silence Satan.

In the beginning, Kyle reveals that strategy and the set up of the enemy’s tactic to cause you to think that you could never amount to the love and grace of God. He helps bring you to a place of victory, talking about the the blood of the Lamb that takes over the tactics of the enemy.

From this point, Kyle takes his new app into place to living in a place of victory. Kyle takes the practical application of the Word of God to defeat the enemy of his attempts to take the believer out. In the final chapters, Kyle reveals the complete armor of God which is the uniform of the righteous. I found it to be extremely important to talk about the armor of God for the believer because we, as a general term, do not completely understand where we stand before God.

Kyle also pinpoints the voice of truth.  So often, as believers,  we hear the voice of defeat more than we have heard the voice of truth. Kyle reveals the true voice of God. So often, we see God as this big monstrous creature in the sky who is ready to pound us at our every sin. The Voice of Truth tells us that God is crazy about us and desires to see us succeed.

Kyle finishes up this great book with the introduction of The Shut Up Devil! App.  Kyle reveals the vital importance to speaking the word of God towards the tactic of the enemy using the story of Jesus and His temptation in the desert.

The Shut Up Devil app is available for free on the Apple Store and the Google Play Store.


Sugar and spice and everything nice

      By

Jeff Rushing
Godly Daddy contributor

My three-year-old daughter Penny is already a legend.

Her exploits are so widely known that friends I’ve barely seen since high school will stop us in public and say, “Wow, your daughter is so funny! She must be a handful.”

What they mean, of course, is, “I’m glad I don’t have to deal with all that!”

When Penny was a tiny fragile baby in the NICU for two weeks, we imagined her in a few years as a sweet girl who did nothing but giggle, cuddle and dress like Disney princesses.

You know the joke, if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.

There’s nothing like a strong-willed child to make you doubt that you’re doing this parenting thing the godly way.

If she was in the Bible, our Precious Penelope would haven taken Esau’s birthright. If she was one of Jacob’s kids she would have tossed Joseph in the well. Delilah? Amateur.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 guides us to share godly thoughts with our kids at all times, “when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”

I really try. I do. Alas, too many of my words when I’m in my house come out like, “Penny, why did you do that?” “Penny, you’re going to hurt yourself/me/Mommy/Cooper.” “No Penny, you pull the pin and then you throw the grenade.”

When we found out our second child was a girl we envisioned a life of tea parties with stuffed animals. While she enjoys that girly stuff, Penny also likes to leave three inches of water on the floor during baths, climb to the top of her closet, and abandon half-eaten strawberries in every nook and cranny of the house.

When we talk about the “terrific twos,” I mean that she’s been going at it for two years already.

I joke that Penny is a Bond-villain-in-training, which will be funny until I find out about the secret lair she’s been digging under our house that has the full capability of taking over all international intelligence operations.

One thing that I had had to adapt is my attitude towards patience. I don’t mean my patience, but yours. You need more of it to deal with me dealing with her.

You know that child on the playground that is into everything, and every other parent knows their name because her parents keep yelling it? Yeah. Penny.

Of course, I say this mostly in jest, and while there’s a lot of truth in what I write about living with Penny, I’m also so very thankful for her. She may be wild, but she’s my wild child.

And after all, it’s up to me and Darling Valerie to set her straight. We’re the example. Proverbs 20:7 says that when the righteous live blameless lives then their children will be blessed.

Hopefully someday this will going beyond people watching us struggle and shaking their heads saying, “Bless their hearts.”

Proverbs 22:6 famously says to “train up a child in the way he should go,” but it does not go on to explain what to do in the moment your daughter rips up all of your son’s Thomas the Train tracks and tosses shoes in the toilet.

Maybe that’s in Habakkuk. I’ll check that later but right now Penny is under the Christmas tree and I foresee a National Lampoon disaster coming.


Aroma

Will Howell
Godly Daddy Contributor

Have you ever had that moment when a smell triggered a memory? I was just sitting here with a cup of coffee and a flood of memories came back to me. I can remember us getting into out Granddaddy and Mammaw’s van to travel across the country and the smell of coffee filled the air as they began to take off. I can still see his old, silver thermos between the seat in the front and his beige coffee cup sitting in the cup holder.

It was here I flashed over to my aunt Judy’s house. I was sipping my coffee and looked over at the book I am reading and it just reminded me of all the times I would go over to her house and sleep in that loft on Friday night.

In just a short time, we will have our nostrils filled once again with the smells of Thanksgiving. That brings me back to the days when we kids would get to Granddaddy and Mammaw’s house for lunch. All of us would gather in the kitchen around that huge island. Someone would inevitably ask my Dad to pray for the food. Following suit, all the kids would run in and get their plates to eat and the parents would talk for a bit until the chaos died down. I know it was then that Mammaw felt that her hard work paid off. Until this day, I know that she enjoys watching her family come together and enjoy a great meal. It is an aroma I won’t soon forget.

Just those thoughts alone brought back good memories. I was reminded of Paul who wrote to the churches in Corinth, “Our lives are a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God. But this fragrance is perceived differently by those who are being saved and by those who are perishing.” 1 Corinthians 2:15. Our lives are an aroma that is spread all over the world and it is pleasing to God. All throughout the Old Testament, we read how there were sacrifices and each of them had aromas that were “pleasing to the Lord.” Our lives are a sacrifice that is pleasing to the Lord. What have you and I done to make our lives pleasing to God?

As we lead our families to the cross, my prayer is that our lives will be a pleasing sacrifice and a sweet aroma unto the Lord.As we gather today with Thanksgiving, may we remember that our lives are being a pleasing aroma to the Lord be spread to all those in our lives.
Happy Thanksgiving!


It is Finished

Will Howell
Godly Daddy Contributor

As a parent, we have a lot of opportunities to teach our children patience and trust. Either that or they teach us that patience and trust. I will say either way, we learn that at the end of the day, God has it all at hand and He will complete the work He started. The other day, Maleah was having a full fledge meltdown. When she’s tired, the world is against her in her eyes. She apparently was tired because everyone and everything was wrong in the world. There was a point where she wanted to finish a project and had asked Sara to help her with it. Sara let her know that it was already done. Maleah started throwing this big fit that she needed to get it done. Sara tried to reason with her that it had already been finished.

It drove home the point for me. So often we, as believers, strive to be perfect for God and to work for our salvation. The problem is that it has already been finished. In Hebrews 10:14, we read “For by that one offering he forever made perfect those who are being made holy. “ When you and I decide that we want to work it out on our own, we are in essence telling Christ that His sacrifice and blood were not enough for our redemption so that means it is all up to us. Friend, if Jesus died for your sins there is no point in going around the mountain over and over again to get His approval that you are forgiven.

Today, I want to encourage you to take this lesson and go with it. YOU cannot do enough to make it right with God. HE makes it right; YOU make the decision to follow HIM. He’s not surprised with your shortcomings as a parent, as an employee, as a Christian, or as a man/woman.


Veterans Day

This post is an original post by our Godly Daddy Contributor, Chris Miller, who is an Army Veteran that serves along with us. This post was posted on July 4th. Thank you Veterans for your service. I hope this blesses you!

 

 

The Flag Outside My Father's House
The Flag Outside My Father’s House (Photo credit: AMERICANVIRUS)

by Chris Miller
Godly Daddy Contributor

Hello Godly Daddy community. Being that I’m new to most of you, I would like to start this article by introducing myself. My name is Chris Miller, and I have been married for 11 years and have a 4 year old daughter, Zoe, and a nearly two year old daughter, Eden. I spent 8 years in the U.S. Army and Army Reserves which consisted of a few deployments and one tour in Iraq. Now I am the President and Founder of a startup Missions organization called Endless Opportunities Worldwide that seeks to help people and teams go on short term mission trips all over the world.

With it being the 4th of July, the day of our nation’s declaration of independence, I can’t think of a better subject to write about than being a patriot, and for the purpose of this audience, how that relates to being a dad. Due to my background, that is something that I meditate on quite frequently. Being a patriot and being a dad (along with being a Christian and a husband) are some of the most important roles one can have in life. The challenge is keeping them in order of importance.

When I was in the Army, I constantly saw the perils of military service during an era of war. Last time I checked, the divorce rate in the military is close to 75%, and it was very clear why. The first six years we were married, I was living in another state or another country for 3 years! If that is not enough stress to put on a marriage, both husband and wife had an infinite amount of pressure to go out and “party” with the other people in the same situation. I had to make daily decisions to do the right thing for my marriage, even if it meant missing out on having fun with my Army buddies. Without a strong conviction from God, it would have been nearly impossible to survive for 3 years of daily attacks by the enemy. Another area I came across frequently, especially as a Squad Leader, was soldiers that put being a patriot or soldier first in their lives, before everything else. I always tried to counsel them that their families are more important. If we are fighting for our country and risking our lives, but at the same time losing our family, then we really aren’t fighting for our country???

When I think about our Founding Fathers and the thousands of men and boys that made up the Revolutionary Army, and why they fought against the British, and essentially impossible odds, the main reason was their families. Most of the military at that time was completely voluntary, so they chose to sacrifice their lives so that their wives and children could enjoy freedom and have a chance at prosperity. When comparing that to what I was seeing, it seemed counter-productive to serve our country at the cost of our families.

I realize that not everyone served in the military, but I think the principle is universal. As husbands and fathers, are we more like the men of the Revolution or more like our prevalent culture? Are we willing to sacrifice and lay our lives down for our family, or are we always thinking about what we want and what we can do or what thing we can buy next? Please think about the difference for a minute and reflect on where you might need to improve in this area. No matter what you are pursuing in your life, please remember always and forever, what do I gain if I lose my family, or lose a close relationship with my kids or wife. I am always struggling to find that balance, but just trying to attain that goal puts me ahead of the game these days.


Love Isn’t Always Convenient

by Chris Miller
Godly Daddy Contributor
Guys…fellow Godly Daddy’s both past, present, and future…we have bought in to our cultures lies about us.  We are told that men are less emotional than women.  That real men don’t cry.  That we keep our feelings on the inside and don’t talk about how we feel.  While I understand that there are fundamental differences in men and women, both biologically and emotionally, I think that much of this has been fed to us by society and we have bought into it, much to the detriment of our relationships with our families.
I was recently at a conference for disabled veterans, and heard a fellow vet speak about living, coping, and thriving despite having Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  I think vets get an even higher level of scrutiny for being angry, irritable, tired, frustrated, confrontational, etc than other men, but it’s the same excuses that many of us men use.  “That’s just the way I am”, we tell ourselves, or, “That is how my dad was”, or, “Feelings are for women”. But the challenge that this vet put forward to other vets living with mental issues was astounding.  In fact, I can’t believe that I have never heard any pastor, preacher, speaker, men’s group, or women’s group for that matter say what I heard this normal vet say. It shook me to my core and made me evaluate the ways in which I interact with my wife and kids and my parents and siblings.  It wasn’t that what he said was profound or deep, to the contrary, it was simple and easy to ingest.  And I believe that if we as Godly men can think like this in our family life that it will change the closeness we have with our wives and children and at the same time start a new trend for the next generation in how they express their feelings and emotions. I have two daughters and I hope that the men they marry can act like this.  If I have a son some day, I hope to teach him this simple principle for his wife and kids. So here it is.
When we are angry or mad or frustrated or hurt, we don’t have any problem expressing our feelings and finding the words (many time unkind, mean, hurtful, profane words) to tell our wives and kids and family and friends and strangers.  We stay mad for minutes or hours or days because someone cut us off in traffic or one of the kids broke my favorite coffee mug or my wife recorded over the Cardinals World Series game with Love it or List it on HGTV. We yell and throw things or punch a wall, and it all seems instinctive and natural.  We have told our wives that we aren’t emotional beings like they are and men just don’t know how to express their feelings, but we have no problem expressing our negative feelings???  Are those not feelings just the same as positive ones???  Are they in a different class because they are easy or natural??? Or have we just been using that as an excuse to neglect our positive feelings.  If we can so quickly access and express negative feelings, then why can’t we so quickly access and express positive words and feelings when something good happens?  Why is it so hard to tell our wives that we love them (and not when we want or are having sex)?  Why is it so hard to hug our wives and kids and tell them that we are proud of them.  Tell them that we appreciate all that they do for us and mean to us.  Tell them that we wouldn’t be who we are today if it weren’t for them.  Why is it so hard to tell our wives that they look beautiful and that dinner tasted really good and that the house look amazing?  Why is it hard to be forgiving and uplifting when they don’t look their best and the food doesn’t taste good and the house isn’t clean? Why is it hard to hold our wives in our arms when she is crying because she didn’t get a promotion at work and just tell her that she deserved it and will get the next one and we love her regardless of her accomplishments?  Why is it hard to hold our daughters in our arms when they are crying because a boy broke up with them? Or our sons when they won’t stop fighting and breaking stuff?
Lots of questions, and I’m not sure of all the answers, but I know that God wants me to be that man.  God wants me to be kind and loving and gentle. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Paul says “ Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud  or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”  Guys, please, get this deep in your heart and through our hard heads.  Let us strive and practice using positive emotions so that we are even better known for being loving that we are for being angry and aloof.  I can only imagine how this concept will impact my family.  I hope it can for you as well.

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